Roll the Credits
by L.H. Knox
Summary: Lexa loves movies more than anything else in the world. And then she meets Clarke. This is a giant ball of fluff that almost got named after a Hannah Montana song.
1. A Tale of Love and Glory

Lexa fucking loves movies.

Films have been the one major constant in her life for as long as she can remember, bringing comfort and contentment to a world filled with anything but. She can never really pinpoint exactly what it is that she loves so much, because truthfully it's _everything._ It's the dialogue that cuts through her, the cinematography that could move a blind man, the swell of a score that takes her breath away. Her friends tease her (and her spreadsheet that keeps track of the films she's seen) but she doesn't care; she's always the first to be chosen on Trivia Night and they always let her choose which movie to watch for Movie Night because her taste is impeccable. Her parents may have wanted a doctor or a congressman in the family, but her heart was set on being a film major, studying scenes and dreaming up characters and devoting her life to a medium that made her truly happy.

Her happiness is called into question one Movie Night. Lexa wanders around her apartment, placing the night's snacks on the table and double checking that she's gotten out the right movie hard drive. She's been looking forward to this movie night all summer; she hasn't seen her friends in two months, and Movie Night is the perfect reunion.

"Hey Lincoln," she says answering the phone.

"Lex," he greets, "Just letting you know-"

"If you bail on movie night right now I'm gonna kick your ass" She hears him laugh on the other end of the line.

"I'm not bailing. I'm just letting you know that Octavia's bringing a friend."

" _Lincoln._ I'm gonna kill you."

"Oh, come on, Lexa, it's just one extra person."

"I needed a night to unwind with my two best friends and Octavia, not entertain new people."

"First of all, person. Singular. Second, It's a movie night. She'll be entertained by the movie." Lexa sighs, knowing she's fighting a losing battle.

"Fine. But I'm not being friendly."

"Goodbye, Commander."

She hangs up the phone with a huff, angry at her friend. Lexa finds new people exhausting and she knows she'll spend the entire night keeping a wary eye on the stranger in her apartment. Knowing she needs to calm down a bit, she pulls up her favourite guilty pleasure movie on her laptop and starts watching.

She doesn't bother standing up when there's a knock at the door, rather, she waits the 0.3 seconds before her friend barges into the apartment.

"Anya," she greets without lifting her her gaze from the computer screen.

"Commander," comes the reply, along with Anya's body flopping down onto the couch beside Lexa.

"Have you met this person Lincoln and Octavia are bringing?" Lexa inquires.

"Nope," Anya says, "sorry."

"If she ruins movie night-"

"You need to fucking relax. The only person who's gonna ruin tonight at this point is you."

Lexa sighs, give a small nod of her head. She knows Anya is right, but that doesn't mean she can't remain silently bitter.

The doorbell rings as Anya sits beside Lexa, and the two girls call out at the same time.

"Door's open."

Time slows down as the door swings open, and Lexa's almost certain it's because an angel timidly enters her apartment. An angel made from long blond hair and bright blue eyes, an angel that's smiling directly at Lexa.

"Hey guys," Lincoln greets, entering behind the angel, Octavia trailing behind him. He deposits three pizzas on the table, and quickly claims the two seater for himself and his girlfriend. Lexa frowns as she feels a sharp elbow in her side.

"Ow," she grumbles at Anya, "that hurt."

"Comm, you've been staring at Blondie for a weird amount of time." Sure enough, when Lexa glances back up at the newcomer, she's staring back, bemused.

 _Well fucking great I look like an idiot._

"Uh, hi," she offers awkwardly, extending her hand, "I'm Lexa."

"Clarke," the blond responds.

"Let's get this fucking thing started before Lexa makes anyone else uncomfortable," Anya declares, earning a laugh from Clarke and a glare from Lexa. But it doesn't last too long; the film student is too busy committing Clarke's melodic laugh to memory.

"What're we watching?" Octavia asks, taking a seat by her boyfriend. Lexa tries to ignore the fact that the blonde angel is sitting way too far away from her.

"Spotlight," Lexa announces, plugging her hard drive into the TV. "A modern masterpiece."

"Eh, it was okay," Clarke says. Lexa whirls around, staring daggers at the girl, the angel's halo falling to the floor and smashing.

"Okay? _Okay?"_ Lexa works quickly to swallow her anger before she begins attacking the girl. Anya reaches for a beer, enjoying herself way too much. "Clarke, Spotlight- an Academy Award winning movie- was a little better than 'okay'."

"I've seen better movies."

"No."

"You can't tell me I haven't seen better movies," Clarke laughs.

"Spotlight is a God-tier movie, Clarke."

"Am I supposed to know what that means?"

"It means it's fucking beyond fantastic, that's what."

"I just didn't like it, that's all."

"What's your favourite movie then, Love Actually?" Lexa asks with a snort.

"Yeah, actually it is. You got a problem with that?" Clarke challenges, raising an eyebrow at her host. Lexa stares back defiantly, an internal battle waging within her. She can either tear the girl apart with her film expertise (and obsession) or she can not be a massive dickhead to the newcomer.

"Fine. We'll watch a different movie," she finally says, wincing as the words leave her mouth.

Her friends and Octavia gasp, their eyes wide as Lexa opens her movie spreadsheet, ignoring them.

"This is the first time someone's ever successfully challenged the Commander," Anya says, still wide-eyed.

"And on a God-tier movie, too," Lincoln adds.

"Holy shit," Octavia whispers.

"Look, I didn't mean to start anything, honestly. We can watch Spotlight," Clarke offers hesitantly.

"No, no. We'll watch this instead," Lexa replies with a tone of finality. Her friends moan in unison when they see her second choice.

"Again?" Octavia grumbles, "we've seen Casablanca fifty times."

"As you should, it's a classic," Lexa replies, as the film begins. She tosses a quick glance to Clarke whose upturned lips betray the rest of her passive face.

When the movie finishes, nobody makes a move to leave, instead launch into an argument that they've clearly had several times before.

"There's no way you still think she decided to leave," Octavia scoffs at Anya. "He sent her because he loved her."

"She left because she knew she could have a comfortable life with Victor," Anya says, "it was war time, you had to be practical."

"Exactly! And Rick was being practical by sending the love of his life to America! He'd rather her safe and sound," Octavia argues with a fold of her arms.

"You're both idiots," Lexa sighs, "And I swear, one day you're gonna make me regret ever showing you When Harry Met Sally and starting this godforsaken argument." Octavia and Anya choose to ignore their friend, instead launching back into their bickering.

"Well what does everyone else think?" Lexa cuts across the top of them, mostly just hoping that maybe Clarke will contribute to the discussion. She's not disappointed.

"I get that it's romantic, I get that it's a classic, but at the end of a day if you're in an adult relationship you can't just make the choices for the other person. Rick could've discussed the whole situation with the love of his life instead of playing the martyr. Wouldn't have made for as good an ending, so it's kind of all a moot point, and I think we know that it's a silly argument from the moment we saw it- albeit at separate times- in When Harry Met Sally. The whole debate was clearly constructed by Ephron in an attempt to both underscore Sally's lack of romantic past and pedantic nature and give Harry a chance to tease her about her sex life." When nobody answers, instead just looking at her like she's an alien, Clarke just rolls her eyes.

"Forget I said anything at all, you plebs."

Lexa thinks she's in love.

She misses the sly smile that passes between Lincoln and Octavia.

"We should call it a night," Lincoln says, helping his girlfriend stand up, "thanks for movie night, Commander." He raises an eyebrow to Anya.

"Right. Yeah. Got class super early tomorrow, can't help you clean up." Lexa eyes Anya suspiciously.

"Clarke was it?" Anya continues, "Do you mind staying and helping Lexa clean up? It's usually my job."

"Uh, sure?"

"Anya you've never once helped me clean anything in the ten years I've known you."

"'Kaybyeseeyoulater," Anya calls out, pulling the door shut behind the three friends, and leaving Lexa alone with Clarke in the apartment. Lexa turns to face the beauty who's already started picking up empty beer bottles.

"So I think this might have been a set-up," Lexa says, frowning in confusion. Clarke laughs, until she sees that Lexa is serious.

"They didn't tell you?" the blonde asks incredulously.

"They told you?" Lexa replies, scandalized. "If I had known I would've at least attempted a better first impression."

"It's okay, I now understand that I was crashing movie night with your friends."

"They're not my friends," Lexa mutters, "those assholes." Clarke laughs again, and Lexa feels her stomach fill with butterflies. There's something about the blonde that makes Lexa's head spin, and it's quite disconcerting, seeing as they've only known each other for a few hours. She pushes the concern from her mind, focusing on cleaning up the small mess left behind by her supposed friends. The two girls work in comfortable silence, Clarke only speaks again as Lexa walks her to the door.

"So maybe you can give me a bit of a movie-cation, seeing as you're so knowledgeable," she says, and Lexa blushes.

"You should know that I charge by the hour for my expertise," Lexa replies, hoping to god that whatever she's saying can be seen as flirty.

"What's your going rate?"

"A large plain pizza and a six-pack of beer, but for you, I can make a deal."

"Oh yeah?"

"Any sized pizza of your choice and I'll provide the drinks and movie."

"Friday night good for you?" Lexa smiles at Clarke, her heart racing at the thought of saying the next few words.

"It's a date."

Clarke leaves and Lexa sinks into her couch, her smile so big her cheeks hurt. She whips out her phone and texts the Movie Night group chat.

 **Lexa (11:30pm):** thanks for the heads up you fuckwits

 **Lexa (11:30pm):** apparently i was on a blind date i knew nothing about

 **Lexa (11:30pm):** youre the worst

 **Octavia (11:32pm):** how did alone time go?

 **Lincoln (11:34pm):** sorry Comm I was sworn to secrecy :(

 **Octavia (11:34pm):** traitor.

 **Anya (11:35pm):** did u do it w the hottie, C?

 **Lexa (11:38pm):** yall are high if you think im gonna tell you shit.

 **Lexa (11:39pm):** …..

 **Lexa (11:39pm):** we're seeing each other friday

 **Anya (11:40pm):** let us know if shes a good lay xx

/

Lexa nurses a glass of red wine, appreciating the heated courage it leaves dancing in her chest when she sips it. The film she had chosen (Bicycle Thieves, Vittorio De Sica, 1948) had ended a while ago, and the two girls sit and talk.

"I'm sorry for making you sit through that movie," Lexa says.

"Why? It's a classic, I can see why you chose it."

"I just assumed you're more of a rom-com kind of girl, seeing as your favorite movie is Love Actually." Clarke laughs.

"Just because I love romantic comedies doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good film when I see it."

"And yet you hated Spotlight," Lexa quips. Clarke laughs again. Lexa could get used to hearing that sound.

"I actually really liked Spotlight. Octavia told me to argue about your movie choice because Anya 'wanted to have some fun' or something like that." Lexa groans. Her friends were assholes. Assholes who had introduced her to a wonderful, wonderful person.

"What started it?" Clarke asks, sipping her drink.

"The movie obsession?" Lexa confirms, and continues when she receives a nod from Clarke.

"When I was born-"

"It goes right back to the beginning, does it?" Lexa chuckles softly.

"I was born really premature, at like, five and a half months," Lexa tells her date, ignoring Clarke's soft groan of sympathy. "The only lasting effects from it all is my terrible eyesight and my piss-weak lungs. When I was little, I was in and out of hospital almost constantly, especially when I hit elementary school. I pushed my limits, I ran and played sports and screamed and neither my lungs or parents could handle me. So I was in that hospital bed with not much to keep me sane. The movies started when I finished all the books in the local library in the twelve year old bracket."

"Why not just start reading books for teenagers and stuff?"

"I was six."

"You're such a nerd," Clarke laughs, and Lexa embraces the butterflies that accompany the sound.

"Anyway, so I finished all the books, and then had nothing else. My parents brought in our DVD-VHS player, and rented all the old classics. That first day, I watched The Wizard of Oz five times. The colors and the pictures… I just remember feeling so at home. It was like the rest of the world melted away and I was a part of something so spectacular and great."

"Do films still make you feel like that?" Clarke asks softly, her blue eyes filled with an emotion Lexa can't quite place.

"The good ones do. The best ones make my chest hurt because they make me want it to bad."

"Want what?"

"Making movies. Writing and directing and being part of the world I've been obsessed with since I was a kid. I watch great movies and it makes me ache that I'm still in college and waiting for my life to start before I can contribute and attempt to make somebody feel the way that movies make me feel." Clarke doesn't respond when Lexa finishes her rant. Instead, she slowly closes the space between them, edging closer to the brunette whose breath hitches in her throat.

When Clarke kisses Lexa, the world ceases. Gravity stops and instead, Clarke tethers Lexa to the earth, the girl with sky-blue eyes Lexa's only anchor to the physical plain. If Lexa were to die in the next two minutes, she would die the happiest person alive, and then be brought back to life by the sheer need to hold Clarke's body close to her own. Kissing Clarke feels good. It feels right. It feels-

Clarke pulls away licking her lips, and making Lexa gasp for air.

"I have two questions," she says, and all Lexa can do is nod. "And you have to answer truthfully." The brunette nods again, entranced by her date's voice.

"Do you still have any lung problems?"

"I carry an inhaler, get pneumonia about once a year, and get short of breath when beautiful girls kiss me," Lexa responds, earning a grin and a small peck from Clarke.

"Second," she continues, "who's gonna play me in the movie you're gonna write about us?" Lexa laughs, pulling Clarke back to her, and kissing her like her life depends on it.

/

Their date goes well enough to warrant several more, and then dates turn into sleepovers and study sessions and soon they spend more time together than they do apart. And before they know it, it's almost winter vacation and they're having one last Movie Night before heading home for the break. Lexa knows she's falling fast for Clarke, and she would be terrified if it weren't for the patient blue eyes that keep her grounded and calm. It's as though her life is turning into a movie of its own, filled with the perfect love interest and intense feelings. She just hopes her life can skip the drama that inevitably accompanies romantic comedies.

"So what're we watching?" Clarke asks while Lexa checks her spreadsheet.

"Well it's a double feature because it'll be the last one for like a month, so we're going light hearted and college themed. Animal House and Legally Blonde," Lexa replies without looking up from her screen.

"Lex," Clarke tries to get her attention. "Babe." It doesn't work. Clarke leans over the top of Lexa's laptop and kisses her.

"Hmm?"

"I have a question."

"Well you have my attention."

"Remember my first movie night?"

"Hard to forget, Clarke. You rejected my movie choice."

"You've yet to tell me what a god-tier movie is." Lexa sighs, her face going red.

"I don't want to. It's embarrassing," she mutters, "you'll just make fun of me like everyone else does."

"I promise you I won't," Clarke says solemnly, playing with her girlfriend's hair.

"First, you have to know that you don't get to appoint the title of god-tier, it happens naturally and you don't know when it'll happen."

"Right."

"Only two movies have ever reached my god-tier. Each arrived at very distinct times in my life. The first time I was sixteen and the movie was The Perks of Being A Wallflower. The second time, I was twenty and, as you probably remember, it was Spotlight."

"But what exactly happens?" Clarke questions, and Lexa takes a deep breath.

"It happens in steps. You're watching the movie, and suddenly you feel something. Like… like somehow you know that when the movie ends you'll be different. You can feel it change you in the most otherworldly type of way. Everything about the movie just embeds itself in you. The music, the dialogue, the cinematography. And it burrows in there and you just know that the story this film is telling is so so important. And you watch and you watch and long after the credits roll, you're still just staring at that screen. You can't talk, because as soon as you open your mouth, you'll leave that moment forever. So instead, you go…" Lexa trails off wistfully.

"And?" Clarke demands.

"You go to a bathroom, or a secluded area, and you sit, and you burst into tears because there's nothing more wonderful than feeling change course through your veins."

"I'm in love with you." Lexa stares at Clarke in wonder. In a split second, the walls of her soul come crashing down, rebuilding themselves with Clarke at their center. Clarke ties her to this world, she is an angel who holds the universe in her eyes, she's-

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that," Clarke mumbles, standing red-faced and pacing back and forth. "That was stupid. You're not saying anything, and it's way too early for those words and, and-" Lexa stands and holds Clarke still long enough for her to stare into the blue irises.

"Clarke, stop."

"I'm sorry-"

"I love you, too." Clarke stares into Lexa's eyes, blue meeting green, heaven meeting earth.

"You do?"

"I love you more than I've loved anyone before. And I know it's too early into this relationship to say things like that, but it's true. Words cannot describe the way you make me feel. I love you. I love you." Clarke falls into Lexa's embrace, the two girls sharing the warmth of their love. They stay, frozen together until they hear the sound of fake vomiting coming from behind them.

"Get a room, lovebirds," Anya says, walking in and sitting in the middle of the big couch.

"We had a room, we had a whole apartment," Lexa says through gritted teeth, but Anya ignores her, plonking her feet on the coffee table.

"We brought the goods," Lincoln calls, walking in with a pizza in one hand, Octavia's hand in the other.

"We're watching Animal House," Lexa tells Lincoln, and he grins broadly.

"One of my favourites. You're a legend, Commander." Clarke frowns.

"How did that nickname start?" she asks, always curious about the hidden mysteries of Lexa's life. Anya laughs loudly, and Lexa narrows her eyes.

"Anya, no," she says sternly.

"Anya, yes," her friend replies, winking at Lexa. "One of our first Movie Nights ever, we watch one of Lexa's favourite movies of all time: A Few Good Men." Lexa smothers herself with a pillow, her groan muffled by the fabric.

"This is back before we banned vodka from Movie Night and replaced it with beer, because not only does vodka get Lexa drunk super quick, but it makes her _super_ chatty." Anya wiggles her eyebrows at Clarke and the blonde laughs, excited for the rest of the story.

"Anyway, we get to the climax of the film, right? Jack Nicholson's about to deliver one of, if not _the_ greatest monologue in cinematic history, and what's the only thing that Lexa can talk about at top volume? How Demi Moore playing Lieutenant Commander JoAnne Galloway made her realize that she was gay. All she does is talk about Demi fuckin' Moore in that goddamn uniform and how she has dreams where she's fucking Commander Demi."

Lexa blushes darker than Clarke's ever seen while Lincoln and Octavia laugh at the story despite having heard it a thousand times. Clarke laughs along with them, but pulls Lexa into her embrace as she does so, kissing her softly.

"That's hilarious, you silly nerd," she says affectionately.

"It's their fault for getting me drunk," Lexa replies, earning scoffs from Anya.

"As long as you love me more than Demi Moore, Commander," Clarke whispers into Lexa's ear, and Lexa smiles up at her girlfriend.

"You have nothing to worry about, Lieutenant."

/

They lie together, limbs entwined, content with nothing but each other. Clarke runs her fingers along Lexa's tattooed arm, eliciting a small sigh from the brunette.

"I've got to get up soon," Clarke whispers, "I need to start packing."

"Shh," Lexa replies, "no talking, please." She rolls over so she can face her girlfriend, and smiles lazily when she sees the blue of Clarke's eyes. Clarke leans over and places a small kiss on Lexa's lips, and despite their couple of months together, Lexa's heart still skips a beat.

"Come home with me," Clarke says, and Lexa sits up a bit further.

"For Christmas?" Lexa asks incredulously. Clarke blushes, embarrassed.

"Yeah, you're right, it's silly. You'll wanna be with your family. Forget I said anything." Lexa rolls her eyes and closes the small space between them.

"I'd love to come home with you," she says softly, pressing a small kiss to Clarke's cheek. "I would love to meet your mother." She kisses the other cheek. "And see your childhood bedroom." She kisses Clarke's smiling lips.

"I'll go call my mom," Clarke tells her, leaving the warmth of Lexa's bed. Lexa sighs slowly, picking up her phone from the bedside table. She knows her parents are going to give her grief for not coming home for the holidays, but she needs to call them sooner or later. She dials her mother's number.

"Hey, ma," she says, "it's me."

/

"What the fuck is going on?" Anya asks entering the apartment. Lexa paces angrily across the room, pausing every so often to rest her head in her hands and suppress a scream.

"Clarke, what happened?" she asks again.

"I'm so sorry I had to call," the blonde tells her, "I've never seen her like this. She's not responding at all." Lexa doesn't acknowledge her girlfriend or her best friend, still caught in her own head.

"Lexa, what's wrong?" Anya asks, not garnering any response. The blonde grabs Lexa by her shoulders. "Lexa, calm down."

"I can't fucking calm down," she roars, "not when I've got the parents I've got, not when I still have to put up with this shit!"

"Lexa," Anya tries again, "just take a breath. What's happened?"

"What's happened," Lexa seethes, "is that my parents are as manipulative and cold as ever. They don't speak to me for three months, but still expect me home for the holidays. They don't care about anything to do with my life but the second I tell them I have a girlfriend they tell me it's unacceptable. They spend my whole life telling me I'll never live up to their expectations, and still feel the need to tell me what a disappointment I am. I'm just so sick of them, Ahn. I'm ready to cut them off."

"Lexa, we talked about it. Wait til they've paid for college, remember?"

"I can't, I can't do this anymore. Just thinking about them makes me sick, and having them in my life makes me miserable."

"Lex," Clarke speaks up, "you can't just cut off your parents because of me-"

"This isn't because of you," Lexa replies, "this is because they're grade-A assholes who think that they own me."

"I mean, I think you'll regret cutting them off." Lexa laughs humorlessly.

"I don't think I'd ever regret it."

"I'm just saying, if it were my dad were alive-"

"But he's not, he's dead!" Lexa explodes, "you don't have a father, so please just stay out of something you can't understand!"

Before anybody can react, before Lexa's eyes widen as she realises what she's said, Clarke is out the door. Anya steps back in front of Lexa.

"You're not allowed to fucking speak to anyone like that, _especially_ not Clarke. Do you hear me?" Lexa nods, slowly coming back to real life.

"I fucked up, didn't I?"

/

"Let me in, Clarke, please," Lexa calls, knocking on the blonde's dorm door. "Please give me a chance to apologize. If this were a movie, it would be raining and poetic, but it's just really fucking cold and Lexa can no longer feel her toes.

"Please Clarke?" The door opens, but Lexa's hope dies as she sees Octavia's face and not Clarke's.

"She doesn't want you here, Lexa," the girl says curtly. Lexa rubs a hand over her tired eyes.

"Octavia, I'm desperate. I need to see her."

"Yeah, well you should've thought of that before you were an asshole." Octavia slams the door in Lexa's face.

If she knew that love would hurt this much, Lexa would've taken her mother's advice from all those years ago. _Love is weakness_. Until now, love had been nothing but warmth and comfort. But mix it with rash actions and anger, and love had created a pit of darkness weighing Lexa down and she had no one to blame for it but herself.

/

"How is school, Alexandria?"

Lexa is fucking miserable. It's Christmas Eve and she sits across from her mother, a stern woman with raven hair and sharp eyes. Her father hasn't made an appearance yet, still caught up at work.

"It's good, ma."

"Made any… _films_ lately?" The way Isobel Woods says 'films' makes Lexa's blood boil, her voice filled with disdain and mocking.

"Well actually, mother, I've been rather busy lately."

"A boy?" Lexa can feel her blood boil. She's been out since she was sixteen, and her sexuality seemed to be the only thing in her life that her parents actually cared about.

"You know perfectly well that a boy will never hold my attention."

"Well then you haven't met the right one yet."

Lexa slams down her fork and knife, Isobel flinching at the loud sound.

"Her name is Clarke, and she is wonderful. She's funny and warm, and she has more compassion in her right pinky than you have in your entire body."

"I don't care for your tone-"

"I don't give a fuck what you care for, Isobel. Because you are a petty woman filled with nothing but hate, and you've done nothing but disappoint me from the moment I was old enough to understand what a parent is supposed to be. You don't deserve to meet Clarke. You don't even deserve to know what she looks like."

Isobel's eyes bore into Lexa's, trying to find a weakness.

"You come in here, and you throw around a few ideas about love, play the victim and tell me that I'm a disappointment? Disappointment is having your only daughter choose film as her college major, even after being the Valedictorian at an expensive private school. Disappointment is having an ungrateful little know-it-all that thinks she's entitled to the world. Disappointment, Alexandria, is having your daughter tell you she's a dyke and then pretend like it's natural and not an abomination. You don't know disappointment, Lexa, but you've most definitely provided me with enough of it to last a lifetime."

Lexa slowly wipes her mouth with her napkin, before standing and pushing in her chair.

"Where do you think you're going?" Isobel demands, waiting for the rise she wanted to get out of her daughter.

"Somewhere far away from you. I'd hate for your Christmas to be marred by your disappointments." Lexa leaves the dining room, her hands shaking and only one person on her mind.

/

It might not be snowing in California, but the cold is getting to Lexa's chest and she guesses she should probably ring the doorbell right now. She takes a deep breath before pressing the button. Her heart races as the door opens and she sees-

"You're not Clarke," she frowns. The older blond raises an eyebrow.

"And you're not anybody I know."

"Uh, right," Lexa replies, "I was kind of hoping Clarke would open the door…"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" the woman asks, "and why do you have all that cardboard?"

"My name's Lexa, I'm in love with your daughter, and in the middle of trying to apologize for fucking up. I beg you, Abby, please can you shut this door in my face and get your daughter to open it?"

Amused, Abby shuts the door slowly, and Lexa tries to calm her breathing before the door opens again. She hears Clarke before she sees her.

"Mom, what's going on?"

Clarke stops when she sees Lexa. Her face flashes betrayal and wonder and settles somewhere on confused.

"What are you doing here?" she asks sharply, "you're supposed to be in D.C." Lexa pushes play on her iPhone, and a soft voice starts singing Silent Night. She holds up the cards.

 **I watched this movie on the Red Eye-**

 **Despite its clear misogyny**

 **And horrible storylines-**

 **because I missed you,**

 **But I digress.**

 **With any luck by next year**

 **I'll be an Oscar-winning director**

 **And you'll still be my muse.**

 **But for now let me say**

 **Without hope or agenda**

 **Just because it's Christmas-**

 **(and at Christmas you tell the truth)**

 **To me you are perfect**

 **And my wasted heart will love you**

 **Until the moment you tell me to stop.**

 **Merry Christmas.**

Lexa presses pause on her iPhone, and stares at her feet, too afraid to look Clarke in the eye.

"Why are you here, Lexa?" Clarke asks again, this time softer. Lexa looks up, green meeting blue, forest meeting sky.

"Because I went home for the holidays. I said some things, my mother said some things, and I realized last night that the house I grew up in will never be as warm as the home I made in your arms. I've said it before, I know it's crazy to feel like this for somebody I met a few months ago, but Clarke. I love you. I love you so much I don't know what to do with myself.

"I said some disgustingly terrible things to you, and I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I swear, that if you give me a chance, I will spend the rest of my days trying to be a person that you deserve. Because you deserve a lot more than I can give you. You are perfection, Clarke Griffin. And you are all of the perfection that this flawed life needs."

"I don't know if I can forgive you yet," Clarke whispers.

"I know," Lexa replies, "but I'm willing to wait."

Clarke steps out her front door, and Lexa steps towards her. She waits for Clarke to close the distance, kissing Lexa so softly the brunette is sure she imagined it.

"I love you, Lexa," Clarke says, and Lexa's heart swells. She smiles at her girlfriend, wondering how she got so lucky.

"I love you, too, Clarke," Lexa replies, kissing Clarke once more. The kiss is cut short by Lexa's hacking cough.

"You stupid idiot, get inside before you kill your lungs," Clarke almost yells, and Lexa just smiles sheepishly.

She'll spend the day getting to know Abby and her boyfriend Marcus, telling them about her ambitions, how her and Clarke met, why she isn't with her own family for Christmas. She'll tell them how she wants to make movies about blonde angels with eyes bluer than highest heavens, how Clarke challenged her and almost broke her, how she'd rather spend time with the love of her life than with two miserable old people. She'll tell them too much, and she won't even regret it and after lunch, she'll retreat into Clarke's childhood bedroom, and she'll hold the blonde close to her as they lie in a comfortable silence.

Lexa may love films, but as she lies with Clarke in her arms, she thinks that maybe she's finally found someone that she loves even more.


	2. It's Still The Same Old Story

"Yeah, Anya. I'm sure. I'm positive. You know how much I love her. Yes, I've gotten her mother's blessing. Yes, I know it's an archaic practice. No, I'm not rushing into anything. It's gonna be perfect. And I'm gonna need your help."

/

 **Monday:**

Clarke hates being late, and after three years Lexa knows this. Which is why Clarke is pissed off. She's been waiting for her girlfriend for twenty minutes, and Lexa isn't answering her phone. Pacing around the apartment, she calls Anya, with the hope that she'll know where Lexa is.

"Griff," Anya greets on the third ring.

"Anya, where is my girlfriend?" Clarke asks, and she swears she can hear Anya smirk through the phone.

"I am not her keeper, Clarke," she replies, somewhat bored.

"She was with you all afternoon-" Anya hangs up and Clarke rolls her eyes at her friend's antics. She calls Lexa's number to try once more.

"Lexa Woods," she grumbles into the phone as it goes to voicemail, "I know you are stressed out because your film is premiering at Sundance, but all I ask is that you make it home in time to pick me up for our dinner reservations at a very expensive restaurant that _you_ chose. Call me back."

She hangs up the phone, and opens her laptop to kill the time. On a whim, she googles Lexa's name, getting a kick out of the girl's photo popping up straight away. She reads the articles about the filmmaker, pride surging in her chest. In their just-more-than three years together, Clarke had watched Lexa transform from a student with a dream to a writer-director whose debut film was about to premiere at Sundance Freakin' Film Festival. A script written for her senior project, All I Ask was highly anticipated and heightening Lexa's stress. And, by extension, Clarke's stress. Because watching her girlfriend be in an almost constant state of panic tended to stress Clarke a lot. Not to mention their move in a week's time. She must be crazy- packing up an entire apartment, sending it across the country and taking a pitstop in Utah before joining all of their possessions.

She can hear music playing from somewhere, and it's starting to get on her nerves. It gets louder and louder, and eventually Clarke can't take it anymore. She stalks around the apartment, trying to find which neighbour it's coming from. Standing in the middle of her bedroom, she stops and frowns. She knows that song.

 _In your eyes_

 _The light the heat_

 _In your eyes_

 _I am complete_

Clarke walks towards her balcony, pausing with her hand on the door handle. Her heart races. She steps onto the small terrace and stares down to the street. Sure enough, there stands Lexa, dressed to the nines and holding a boombox above her head with Peter Gabriel blasting out of it. Clarke throws her head back with a laugh, her heart bursting with affection, and all traces of annoyance falling away.

"Thank god," Lexa calls out, "this is the third time I had to play it."

"This is why you're late?" Clarke replies.

"Do you know how hard it is to find an authentic boombox from 1989?"

Shaking her head, Clarke heads downstairs, kissing her girlfriend when she reaches her.

"What's the special occasion?" Clarke asks.

"Can't I just love my girlfriend and shower her with romantic movie references?"

"Shut up and take me to dinner, you nerd."

They sit in a small booth at one of the most expensive restaurants in D.C. In the middle of a move to Los Angeles, they've spent the past few nights eating cheap take out due to their lack of kitchen utensils. The dimly lit restaurant and calm atmosphere is a nice reprieve from their usual mess of friends and chaos. The waitress clears away their plates, and on Lexa's request, brings them dessert and champagne.

"Clarke?" Lexa whispers as the blonde takes a spoonful of chocolate cake.

"Lexa?" Clarke feels shaky. The Say Anything moment. The fancy restaurant. The champagne with dessert.

"I love you," the brunette says simply.

"I love you, too."

"I have an important question to ask you." Clarke gasps softly, covering her mouth with both hands. Here it is. Here it comes.

"Clarke… will you… decide on which dresses you're wearing to Sundance so we won't clash?" Clarke's hands drop to the table. Lexa picks up her fork, taking a bite of cake with a cheeky smile.

"You're an asshole, Lexa."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Clarke."

/

 **Tuesday:**

"Well that's it," Clarke sighs, "the last box." She stands up and looks around the apartment, tears springing to her eyes. This apartment had been her home with Lexa for over two years. She had moved in with the love of her life at the end of junior year, using their summer vacation to settle in and explore the new parameters of their relationship. Her memories here were some of the happiest of her life. This was where they had gotten news of funding for Lexa's motion picture. This is where Clarke got the call offering her a position at a small publishing firm, and where they had informed her that they wanted her to head their West Coast office. This was the apartment where Clarke and Lexa had held countless Movie Nights, where they'd laughed and bickered with their friends, where Anya had finally admitted that she counted Clarke as one of her closest friends. This was also where they had fought about stupid things, each too stubborn for their own good. It was where Clarke had had found Lexa passed out on the floor after the brunette had refused to see a doctor for two weeks. It was where Clarke had nursed Lexa back to health after that particularly bad bout of pneumonia. This apartment was the secret third partner in Clarke and Lexa's relationship, and letting it go felt like letting go a loved one.

"Are you okay, baby?" Lexa asks, wrapping her arms around Clarke

"Just emotional that we're saying goodbye to this place." Lexa hums in agreement.

"I know something that will cheer you up," Lexa says, pressing a kiss to Clarke's cheek.

"Yeah?"

"Grab your overalls from your suitcase," Lexa tells the blonde, "I made plans for us."

And that's how Clarke finds herself in an empty pottery class on a Tuesday night. A short woman named Indra shows them the basics, how to manipulate the clay to get the shape they want before shooting Lexa a small wink and retreating, giving the couple some privacy (but not before pressing play on the iPod plugged into the sound system). The two girls laugh as they make their masterpieces, each trying to make a better piece than their girlfriend. When they finish, Lexa gestures to a third wheel.

"Wanna make something together?" she suggests, letting Clarke take a seat, and then sitting behind her. Their hands overlap, running through the clay, forming it and breaking it down over and over as the music plays behind them. Lexa nuzzles into her neck and Clarke leans back into her, Lexa taking over all of her senses. Her ears perk up and she listens to the music playing softly in the background.

 _Oh, my love, my darling_

 _I hunger for your touch_

 _A long, lonely time_

 _And time goes by so slowly_

 _And time can do so much_

 _Are you still mine?_

"Oh my god," Clarke says, sitting up straight. Her hands stop moving in Lexas. "You're Swayze-ing me."

"What?"

"Ghost. You're totally Ghosting me right now."

Lexa pulls at Clarke's arm, so the blonde is facing her. Blue meets green, sky meeting earth once again.

"Clarke."

"Lexa." Clarke feels her heart hammering in her chest. She's hyper aware of Lexa's clay-covered hand leaving a mark on her overalls, of the intensity of the brunette's stare.

"I have an important question to ask you," Lexa says, and all Clarke can do is nod.

"Clarke Griffin… where in the new house do you think we should put our pottery?"

Clarke jumps off Lexa's lap, shoving her as she stalks away. Lexa falls of the stool, landing with a thud.

"Lexa Woods, you are the worst!"

"Clarke Griffin, I don't know what you're talking about!" Lexa replies, unable to keep the smile from her face.

/

 **Wednesday:**

They had arrived in Utah early that morning and settled quickly in their hotel, getting ready for the premiere of All I Ask that night. Clarke has never seen Lexa more tightly wound, fidgety and nervous, so unlike her usual cool demeanour. Clarke stands by her side as she gives interviews on the red carpet, and Clarke holds her hand tightly as the lights dim in the theatre.

Clarke is also the first one on her feet when the crowd gives Lexa's debut film a fifteen minute standing ovation. Tears in her eyes, pride in her heart, Clarke cheers for girlfriend's masterpiece. Clarke watches with fondness as Lexa takes the stage with her cast, the applause deafening, the crowd ecstatic. It takes the moderator too long to quieten the audience. The cast field questions about the characters and the story and Lexa chooses to remain silent, preferring to let her actors talk; she had chosen a life behind the camera for a reason.

"Lexa, this is your first film, and I think we can all surmise that it'll be a big hit. Do you think you'll be able to achieve something of this magnitude again?"

"Geez, at least let me enjoy this film before I start the next," she says, and the crowd laughs. "I guess my aim isn't to make something of the same magnitude, it's to make something new and different next time around. I'm just thankful that I've got the muse that keeps on giving so I won't run out of ideas any time soon." The crowd lets out a collective 'aww' as Lexa smiles down at Clarke, who blushes furiously.

"So we can expect lots of blonde protagonists in your future works?"

"Lots of blonde, very pretty protagonists, yes." The crowd laughs.

"It must be hard, putting so much of your life onto the screen when you're so adamant about your privacy."

"Quite the contrary, it's easier to put aspects of my life into my films because I get to choose the parts I want you to see and how I present them. I'm in control."

"Seeing as you are so private, what's one thing you can tell all your new fans about yourself?"

Before Lexa can answer, one of the actors jumps in.

"She's a wonderful musician. Like, really good. We'd make her play guitar and sing for us all the time on set." The crowd murmurs, surprised by the news.

And then the music starts. People don't realize what's happening at first, but as soon as they do they start going nuts. One by one, the cast members sing, but Clarke's only got eyes for Lexa's nervous smile.

 _You're just too good to be true_

 _Can't take my eyes off you_

 _You'd be like heaven to touch_

 _I wanna hold you so much._

 _At long last love has arrived_

 _And I thank God I'm alive._

 _You're just too good to be true_

 _Can't take my eyes off you_

The music plays again, and the actors move aside, letting Lexa take centre stage. She takes a deep breath before singing.

 _I love you baby and if it's quite all right_

 _I need you baby to warm the lonely nights_

 _I love you baby, trust in me when I say_

 _Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray_

 _Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay_

 _And let me love you baby, let me love you_

Clarke's heard Lexa sing hundreds of times. In the shower, on karaoke night, when she's danced around the kitchen like an fool. But she's never heard Lexa sing like this before, and she feels her breath hitch knowing that her idiot girlfriend is pulling a Heath Ledger and slowly walking off the stage towards where the blonde is sitting. Clarke blushes deeply, knowing that everyone's staring at her right now but she doesn't care, because her girlfriend is so damn romantic.

The crowd goes wild when the song ends, and Clarke and Lexa kiss. Neither care that a video of the moment will probably go viral over the next week, and neither care that a room filled with strangers is watching an intimate moment between them both.

"Thank you for the serenade," Clarke whispers in Lexa's ear.

"Thank you for the inspiration."

\\\\\

 **Sunday:**

In all honesty, Clarke was leaving Sundance a little disappointed. She thought she was getting engaged. It had been perfect in the lead up: romantic dates in the beginning of the week, a public serenade, Lexa's movie being bought by a major company for a large sum of money. And here she was at the airport, no ring on her finger, headed across the country to begin the next stage of their life together.

Clarke barely pays attention as Lexa acquires their boarding passes. Until she hears what the flight attendant says as they leave.

"Enjoy your trip to D.C."

"Lexa, why are we going back to D.C?" she questions, panic slowly starting to build. "Who's gonna meet our boxes at the new house? We need to get to LA!"

"Don't worry, love," Lexa soothes, "I forgot something back home I gotta go get. Anya's meeting our boxes for us in L.A." But Clarke doesn't buy it.

She barely makes it through the flight, ready to explode trying to figure out what Lexa's up to. Lexa is fidgety, too, but Clarke doesn't care. That's what she gets for keeping secrets.

They land and grab their backs in almost silence, making their way to a cab. Clarke doesn't catch the address that Lexa murmurs to the driver, but she does recognize the apartment building they pull up in front of almost an hour later. The brunette hands the driver the cash, and the two girls step out into the chilly winter air.

"This isn't our old apartment building."

"No, it's not," Lexa agrees.

"This is where you lived before we moved in together."

"Yep."

Lexa takes Clarke by the hand, opening the front door ("How do you still have a key for this place?") and up two flights of stairs.

"This is your old apartment."

"Yes."

"Where you lived without me."

"Yes."

"Where someone else lives now."

"This is true."

Lexa pulls out her keys again- still not letting go of Clarke's hand- and opens the door.

Clarke thinks her heart stops beating.

The furniture has been pushed to the sides, and sitting in the middle of the large room is a grand piano, candles lit on the countertops and large windowsill. Lexa leads Clarke over to the seat and they sit side by side. Clarke's heart hammers in her chest, her hands clammy as Lexa finally lets go. She begins to play a familiar tune, and suddenly Clarke has lost the ability to think or talk or feel. She is numb to everything but Lexa's soft song. Her eyes tear when she hears the emotion in Lexa's voice as she begins to speak.

"Three years, four months and two days ago, I sat on a couch that was right about here, and I watched the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen walk through that door," Lexa says. Her fingers travel effortlessly over the keys. "She sat down, she insulted my movie taste, and then we watched Casablanca, a classic movie.

"I'd seen Casablanca a thousand times, and each time Sam played this song, I'd feel my chest burn, because I wanted someone who loved me like Rick and Ilsa loved each other. And as we watched it that night, three years, four months and two days ago, I listened to As Time Goes By and it made my heart swell and my hands sweaty because all I could focus on was you sitting on the other side of the room. And now when I hear this song, I'm confident I found someone who loves me so selflessly, and who pushes me to love in the same way. I know I've found someone who loves me more than Rick loves Ilsa, more than anyone has loved another before.

"I wanted to do a big romantic gesture for you, so I planned like three. Nothing seemed right. No big movie gesture truly captured the way I feel for you. You don't deserve just one big thing to show you my love, you don't deserve a week's full. You deserve every single moment for the rest of our lives. You deserve an eternity where you understand just how incredible you are, and just how happy you make me.

I love you, Clarke Griffin. I love you more than anybody else in this world. I love you more than life itself. Clarke, I love you more than I love movies." Clarke laughs a watery laugh, wiping away the tears that keep on coming. "And I brought you back here tonight because I couldn't leave this part of our lives behind without making sure we've got a headstart on the next part. I want everything with you. A house with a home cinema, a whole bunch of little mini-mes running around, and just more love than we ever could've imagined. In the wise words of Harry Burns, when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

"So. Clarke Griffin. The light of my life. The love of my life. The keeper of my heart. Will you- please- let me marry you?" Lexa stops playing and silence rings out in the small room. She pulls a small box from her pocket and opens it, the modest diamond ring sitting on a velvet throne. Clarke puts a hand on Lexa's chin, pulling her head up so they can look into each others eyes. Wet green eyes find shining blue ones, earth and sky meeting like they did all those years before.

"Yes, I'll marry you," she laughs, and Lexa lets out a shaky sigh of relief, slipping the ring onto Clarke's finger. Clarke pulls her forward, their lips finding each other as though that's what they were built for.

"I love you so much," Lexa tells Clarke.

"I love you, too," Clarke breathes, smiling at the adoration etched in her fiance's features.

They sit like that for what could've been minutes or hours, who knows. And when they sleep that night ("I can't believe you paid someone three hundred dollars to rent out their apartment to us for a night), tangled in each other, their hearts beat in unison and their breaths match as they slowly even out. They are one being, made of love and happiness and light brighter than the sun.

Lexa knows she's found her happy ending, and she sleeps easy, knowing that she's still got a lifetime of happiness to come.


End file.
